To an Angel

I Am Your Angel - Celine Dion & R Kelly

No mountain's too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No river's too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray

And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I saw the teardrops, and I heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It don't have to be this way, let me show you a better day

And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can I make you see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And I know we will survive
And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, I'm here
No matter how far you are, I'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

- 28 June 1:55am -

That Woman

OMG.
I just had dinner with my dad and the woman-who-is-not-his-GF.
*headbangs*

Everything was going well. There was this awkward silence but things were normal.
UNTIL my dad started talking about his lunch appointment.
It started off okay and quite pleasant.
I was pretty interested too.

Turns out, dad has this friend whose wife committed suicide.
And this friend, read a book by a Hong Kong author who wrote about the loss of his OWN wife.
This friend was so moved by the book, he sent an email to the author saying he was touched by what he read, and would be delighted if they could speak more on the subject.
The author then decided TO FLY DOWN HERE JUST to meet my dad's friend.
My dad's friend then thought it would be a great idea to have my dad along.
All this is fine by me.

But my dad was talking about all this in the presence of that woman-who-is-not-his-GF.
!@#%$@!#%#@!%*$!%#@
For those who do not know why I am so freaked out by this, obviously do not know the history behind this woman-who-is-not-my-dad's-GF.
Like we are discussing my mum's death in front of this woman-who-is-not-my-dad's-GF-but-was-once-the-third-party-in-my-parents'-marriage!

I also feel really cheated. Like I don't have priority in my dad's life, and he treats me and this woman-who-is-not-his-GF like we are of equal status in his life. Like aren't these feelings more private than others?
And does he or doesn't he remember what happened in the past to my family?
Or am I mistaken that this is actually the same family that I once knew long ago?

I have thought it over already and I've unhappily decided it could be just ME and my stupid childish ideas.
Argh.
But am I wrong to feel this way?

- 23 June 8:45pm -

Goodbye TP!

WeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee!!!
I just got my results!! I've passed!!
No longer am I a student!!

Of course, I do miss certain aspects of school..
Like the solitude on the long bus-rides..
Or like the way TP looks in the setting sun..

I will miss lunching with FQ and MZ =)
Miss all the lunch topics we discuss, from the War for Peace to the War against SARS, from China to Myanmar, from Communism to Islam, Military Technology to the Legal Industry.
I already miss those times, man.
FQ and MZ, if you ever read this, here's a toast to you guys =)

Not to mention my teachers..
I'm always amazed by them. They are always so in control and together.
Each and every one of them is a strong Christian.
And everything they do seems to be guided by the hand of God.
Over the years, I've come to respect them so much.

Someone once told me he never met a lawyer that made a good friend.
Now I know why..
All the 'nice' lawyers are now lecturing in TP haha =)

- 22 June 9:10pm -

Senseless Love

i've been tensed up all week.
i've been either hyper or super depressed...
whatever it is i just can't relax.

why does it seem that we always walk a round path to come back to where we first started out?
how can love be so one-sided?
like how can you love someone, but not completely?
i love him completely, but he doesn't, which results in me.. not loving him completely either.
yeah it doesn't make sense.
but love is senseless wad.

and i think because love is senseless, its also making me senselessly frustrated.

- 4 June 1:05am -